FTL the place where they call it hell

What can I say its FTL!

That is what Prospek states in his song. I want to let you know what really happens in Fort Liard.
First of all, forget what you hear or read about it. There is more than meets the eye in FTL. I will explain some of the things that happens behind closed doors as well as what happens after the sun goes down(after 10PM in the summer). To really understand you have to see it for yourself.

There are 2 sides really in Liard. There are natives and non-natives. I am not going to talk about what happens on the non-native side of FTL...yet

There are roughly 600 people living in Fort Liard and there are an estimated 400 of them which are native. About 90% of them do drugs and/or drink Alcohol. On any given day of the week, if you go around Liard, you WILL run into someone that is intoxicated or under the influence. Even the kids are into the drinking and drug lifestyle. I know and have seen kids I knew as babies getting into drinking and drugs. Last week I found out that a 9 year old boy was getting drunk.

When people in Liard drink, they drink the whole bottle. They want to party and have a good time. A lot of the time, things get outta hand and fights break out. The girls fight as often as the guys do here.
One thing that I notice about people drinking, is that one of my close friends that drinks with becomes an asshole. He will act like hes my friend but as soon as he gets drunk, he bitches non-stop about his life and problems. Then he will take his anger out on me any way he can. If he is drinking at my house, he expects me to feed him and when I say no, he will say the same thing over and over again. And he always wants something of mine before he leaves home. I normally don't fight but if he tries that again I will seriously hurt him.

Moving on, the job situation in Liard is not the greatest. But people go work at camps on the highway to make a quick $2000 for 2 weeks of work. It is hard to get a job in town because of the BS politics with the Band and Hamlet. The current Band Manager does not like certain people in Liard just because their sons got beat up all the time when they were kids. I know because more often than not, I was the one doing it. The SAO at the Hamlet is no different. Many times people have applied for jobs,houses, etc. get turned down because they are not liked. I applied for a house and my job back as the Recreation Programmer but I was turned down because “I didn't have 10 kids.” One of my friends have applied for different jobs and been turned down despite being the most qualified for the position.

There is a lack of community support for local sports teams as well. I played soccer from 1999 to 2005 and coached from 2007 to now, and I have seen the community support numbers drop. In 2008 when The 18-under soccer won a banner, everyone in Liard came out to show their support. By the next tournament in May, the support was no longer there. This year I decided to coach soccer for one more year. I knew that my back was against the wall and I would face many challenges. When I was working at the school, I had no problem coaching soccer and when I took a break for the holidays and started practice again, The principal had changed his mind. He set up a meeting and told me not to continue coaching on school time. He also said that there is to be no fundraising from now on at the school. I had sent letters to some agencies around town requesting funding assistance and so far I have not heard a response. I know that the band manager just threw my letter into the garbage.

Sometimes I just want to quit and leave FTL and never return. But there is something that I realized..the people here NEED me. I don't think Liard will function at all without me.
I am currently at home sick and I let my team know that I won't be at soccer. Within 10 minutes I get 12 calls from people asking me if there is soccer and that they can not organize themselves without me. 3 of the ones who called said that they are not going to soccer. 5 just hung up on me after swearing at me. On Facebook chat, the rest of the youth in Liard msg me and ask about soccer. It looks like no one will go to the gym because I am not there to hold their hands.
I decideed that I am going to leave this Place by the falltime and never return.

Me against the world

It is 4:11am and I am wide awake.

I slept earlier from 11pm to 3am. Now at 4, I still can't go back to bed. I am not tired at all. I could try and go back to sleep but I think its a waste of time. I have been staying up late since 2006.

Every night I stay up and think about stuff. What ever is on my mind will be what I think about. For the first few weeks of 2006, I just thought I was homesick as I was in Inuvik NT for college. I then summed up being homesick as, "Missing home because you have nothing to do where you are currently." In Inuvik I had a few friends and I was playing soccer 3 times a week. The College even gave me the keys to open the gym for soccer.

As time passed by, I keep finding myself laying in my bed at 2am wide awake. I always have a lot on my mind. Sometimes I just let my mind wonder and many thoughts go through my mind at night. During the day, I am not tired at all. It seems as I get a full nights sleep. Sometimes in the morning I will think about what I was thinking about the night before. By noon time, I am not thinking about what was bothering me the night before, I just focus on the day. In the evening, I try to relax and not think about anything. But around 12:30 is when I realize that I am thinking again. I can't seem to stop thinking at night. There is just too much that is on my mind.

All through 2007 and 2008, while in college, I had a plan to be in bed by midnight and I even had a routine. It worked for about 1 month then I found myself laying in my bed staring at the ceiling in the dark. In the fall of 2008, I found out something that helps me go to sleep earlier:music.
I don't mean any kind of music, it has to be slow and relaxing. Since I have over 1000 songs stored on my portable hard drive, I select about 25 or so songs and create a playlist and play it on repeat and it helps me to sleep. One song I listen to a lot and helps me sleep most of the time is (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGzgMy8cQsQ)

Now that I am done school and am currently not working, I find myself staying up as late as 4am. Every time I stay up so late, I always wake up at 1PM.

I have no closing for this entry...