Friday, October 1, 2010
You and I were living like a love song...
Actually no we were not. As of this writing, I am now single. It ended just at the other ones did, I got cheated on. Now I am holding back tears once again as my heart was ripped in half. I knew we had some problems but thats all part of being in a relationship. She wanted to party and live life, I wanted to live a happy healthy lifestyle. I think it all came down to the age difference. I think next time I am going to find someone closer to my age and this time I will not rush things
Saturday, September 25, 2010
What Happened?
During the past few months, I probably made over 100 decisions as to what to do with my life. At the start of summer, I was expecting to go back to Fort Smith for college. That changed for some reason. As the summer days went on, I chose to move to Grande Prairie Alberta. I looked at apartments and applied to a few. They declined my application as my credit isn't too high. By the time August came around, I decided to go home to Liard to visit. On August 15th, I left Hay River and 7 hrs later I was in Fort Liard. I had only hoped to be there for 2 weeks at most. 20 days later I ended up leaving Liard. The place where I am now is a place I had not imagined myself living, I am in Whitehorse Yukon. I have been here since September 6. I knew that it was going to be challenging to find a place as well as a job. Almost 3 weeks have passed and I still don't have my own place or a job. Its really getting to me all this not working. I sent in my application to numerous places, I even went to a job interview as well as a weekend of training. The only "job" I have at the moment is a facilitator at a youth group. Sometimes I feel as though I can't make it :( on top of that, I have to put up with the constant complaining and fighting with my other half. Everyday she gets mad at me for no reason at all. Every time she gets mad at me, she ends up crying or bringing up past BS in her life to blame herself. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO...I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP
Monday, September 6, 2010
Summer of 2010
As of June 1, 2010, my plans were to go to Fort Smith for the summer and work before starting College.
I was going to stay at my cousin Jennys place while I stayed there for the summer.
For the first 2 weeks of June, I had planned to catch a ride with someone from Fort Liard who would be attending the Dehcho Assembly in Hay River.
I had made plans to go with Jennys parents but they left 2 days before they had told me they left. I had to scramble to find a last minute ride.
My friend Trevor heard me talking to someone about the fun I had last year and he thought it would be a fun idea to attend this years assembly.
He asked his parents who were heading to High Level AB, to pick up a relative. On June 21,we left Fort Liard and arrived in Hay River at midnite.
For the week, Trevor and I attended the assembly and played handgames in the evenings. By Friday the 26th, we hitched a ride into town from the reserve.
We got a room for 1 night so we can figure out what to do. After meeting up with my girlfriend Marlena and deciding to stay for the weekend, we went out and had a few drinks.
On Saturday, we ran into Jenny who told me that they were going to head to Alberta for part of the summer at her boyfriends place. I was not all to happy with staying in Hay River for the summer.
Trevor was kinda homesick so I managed to find him a ride back to Liard. I told him not to worry about me as I was with Lena and thats all I cared about at the time. I had to sacrifice my plans in order to stay with her. I decided that it I should at least get a job so I am not completely broke for the summer. I applied for work at the Town of Hay River Recreation department.
During the interview, they told me that I was more than qualified for the summer student position. So for the next 8 weeks, I would work a 8-5 job and began a new chapter in my life in Hay River.
I had a great experience working with the 7 other summer students from Hay River for the summer. Even though they aren't the typical people that I normally hang out with.
I had to change my attitude and watch what I say around them. during the summer months, my boss told me that I was one of the best summer students he had ever hired and offered me a full time job.
I would have taken it if it weren't for the fact that Lena had quit her job and wanted to get outta HR ASAP! We started looking at apartments in Grande Prairie during our last 3 weeks there. We found a few great places but 1 required a $500 non refundable application fee. 2 others turned us down and 3 never responded to our applications. On the Saturday before my final week in Hay River, we run into my aunty who had told us that she was going to Liard early Sunday. We didn't even discuss it we just agreed to leave with her.
So now we are in Fort Liard deciding our next move. I know that this adventure that is my life is not even close to being over.
I was going to stay at my cousin Jennys place while I stayed there for the summer.
For the first 2 weeks of June, I had planned to catch a ride with someone from Fort Liard who would be attending the Dehcho Assembly in Hay River.
I had made plans to go with Jennys parents but they left 2 days before they had told me they left. I had to scramble to find a last minute ride.
My friend Trevor heard me talking to someone about the fun I had last year and he thought it would be a fun idea to attend this years assembly.
He asked his parents who were heading to High Level AB, to pick up a relative. On June 21,we left Fort Liard and arrived in Hay River at midnite.
For the week, Trevor and I attended the assembly and played handgames in the evenings. By Friday the 26th, we hitched a ride into town from the reserve.
We got a room for 1 night so we can figure out what to do. After meeting up with my girlfriend Marlena and deciding to stay for the weekend, we went out and had a few drinks.
On Saturday, we ran into Jenny who told me that they were going to head to Alberta for part of the summer at her boyfriends place. I was not all to happy with staying in Hay River for the summer.
Trevor was kinda homesick so I managed to find him a ride back to Liard. I told him not to worry about me as I was with Lena and thats all I cared about at the time. I had to sacrifice my plans in order to stay with her. I decided that it I should at least get a job so I am not completely broke for the summer. I applied for work at the Town of Hay River Recreation department.
During the interview, they told me that I was more than qualified for the summer student position. So for the next 8 weeks, I would work a 8-5 job and began a new chapter in my life in Hay River.
I had a great experience working with the 7 other summer students from Hay River for the summer. Even though they aren't the typical people that I normally hang out with.
I had to change my attitude and watch what I say around them. during the summer months, my boss told me that I was one of the best summer students he had ever hired and offered me a full time job.
I would have taken it if it weren't for the fact that Lena had quit her job and wanted to get outta HR ASAP! We started looking at apartments in Grande Prairie during our last 3 weeks there. We found a few great places but 1 required a $500 non refundable application fee. 2 others turned us down and 3 never responded to our applications. On the Saturday before my final week in Hay River, we run into my aunty who had told us that she was going to Liard early Sunday. We didn't even discuss it we just agreed to leave with her.
So now we are in Fort Liard deciding our next move. I know that this adventure that is my life is not even close to being over.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Reflections on turning 24
I had originally planned on writing this entry the day I turned 24 on June 9, but I just never got around to it.
Now that I am 24 years old, I have come to realize a few things...number one is I am starting to see the world through an adults perspective. I also realized that its time for me to finally get out of Fort Liard and gain life experience through trial and error. During my latest time in Fort Liard, I took the time to talk to a few of my friends that I had grown up with. One question that I asked them is "Do you plan on living in Liard all your life or are you going to move out?" 9 times out of 10 they say they want to but just can't find the right moment. The 1 out of 10 say that they are looking for a place in Fort Nelson. In my opinion, Fort Nelson is still in the Fort Liard area. When I was younger, I remember talking to kids about seeing the world and how cool it would be to be finally done school and out of mom and dads house.
Today, out of my childhood friends that are actually from Fort Liard are still living there. Either working at camp or living the Alcohol&drug-lifestyle. Its sad to see that people can drink for days at a time and still call it fun. Some of them know that they are stuck in the same place that they promised themselves they would not get into as a kid. I think that the problem isn't that they can't find it in themselves to get their shit together, they are afraid of failure. Afraid that they will not make it in the world outside of Fort Liard-Fort Nelson.
For me, the chance to leave Liard didn't just come as easy as I made it. I had to think for a long time of what I would like to do in life. The decision to leave Liard was not an easy one. I had to give up my job at the Recreation Department, as well as my family and friends. It is my philosophy that "You have to give up to go up". I gave up everything in Fort Liard in order for me to leave that place and live elsewhere in the world.
The day before I left Fort Liard for Hay River, someone asked me if I am afraid of failure and if I would be embarrassed to come back to Liard if I do fail. To answer this persons question, I quoted the late Randy Pausch "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." If I do fail, the experience that I gain from my failures will help me in the future so I can turn that failure into success.
When I left Liard and was on my way to a new life, I had no regrets about leaving. I know that its time for a new chapter in my life. I am now an adult and its time for me to have my own interesting stories as well as experience. I don't regret a single thing that I have done to get to where I am at in life.
For those that have known me for a long time know that when I was younger,even a few years ago, I would not be talking like this. I would just be talking about whats going on around me in my current life. When I was in college I told my instructor that everyone matures at a different pace. Well this is how I handle my maturity.
As I look forward to what the future holds for me, I know that I will be satisfied with the decisions I made in life when I'm 60 and reflecting on my life. I will say that I did it my way.
Now that I am 24 years old, I have come to realize a few things...number one is I am starting to see the world through an adults perspective. I also realized that its time for me to finally get out of Fort Liard and gain life experience through trial and error. During my latest time in Fort Liard, I took the time to talk to a few of my friends that I had grown up with. One question that I asked them is "Do you plan on living in Liard all your life or are you going to move out?" 9 times out of 10 they say they want to but just can't find the right moment. The 1 out of 10 say that they are looking for a place in Fort Nelson. In my opinion, Fort Nelson is still in the Fort Liard area. When I was younger, I remember talking to kids about seeing the world and how cool it would be to be finally done school and out of mom and dads house.
Today, out of my childhood friends that are actually from Fort Liard are still living there. Either working at camp or living the Alcohol&drug-lifestyle. Its sad to see that people can drink for days at a time and still call it fun. Some of them know that they are stuck in the same place that they promised themselves they would not get into as a kid. I think that the problem isn't that they can't find it in themselves to get their shit together, they are afraid of failure. Afraid that they will not make it in the world outside of Fort Liard-Fort Nelson.
For me, the chance to leave Liard didn't just come as easy as I made it. I had to think for a long time of what I would like to do in life. The decision to leave Liard was not an easy one. I had to give up my job at the Recreation Department, as well as my family and friends. It is my philosophy that "You have to give up to go up". I gave up everything in Fort Liard in order for me to leave that place and live elsewhere in the world.
The day before I left Fort Liard for Hay River, someone asked me if I am afraid of failure and if I would be embarrassed to come back to Liard if I do fail. To answer this persons question, I quoted the late Randy Pausch "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." If I do fail, the experience that I gain from my failures will help me in the future so I can turn that failure into success.
When I left Liard and was on my way to a new life, I had no regrets about leaving. I know that its time for a new chapter in my life. I am now an adult and its time for me to have my own interesting stories as well as experience. I don't regret a single thing that I have done to get to where I am at in life.
For those that have known me for a long time know that when I was younger,even a few years ago, I would not be talking like this. I would just be talking about whats going on around me in my current life. When I was in college I told my instructor that everyone matures at a different pace. Well this is how I handle my maturity.
As I look forward to what the future holds for me, I know that I will be satisfied with the decisions I made in life when I'm 60 and reflecting on my life. I will say that I did it my way.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Something on my mind
5 of my last 5 girlfriends have all cheated on me. Do I get a trophy or achievement or something? Its crazy how I as a guy can get cheated on. You figure that since I am a guy that I would be the one cheating..but no. I am a completely faithful guy. One day I will find the person thats right for me.
UPDATE :O
FINALLY....I posted a blog entry. I do not have internet at home anymore. For now I will be using friends computers to update. I plan to post more often. This one is a quick update. I am no longer working in the recreation field and I can no longer coach in the NWT due to circumstances. I plan on going back to Smith for College.
thats about it for now
thats about it for now
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